Author’s Birthday
By
Rodi
Obligatory small print:
Megachu characters belong to Pikachamp, and myself (Rodi).
Mark and Pete belong here. They’re not mine.
Author had had enough.
The twenty-sixth of March, and he’d spent the entire day maintaining the universe. Rodi had disappeared off to another universe yesterday, claiming she needed a holiday. She still hadn’t reappeared. The characters had spent the day fooling around in the absent Rodi’s lab, feeling safe in the assurance that the Author needed them for the comic, and wouldn’t allow anything too nasty to happen to them. It seemed everyone had forgotten what day Friday was – even Rodi, when Author queried her on it, had no knowledge of anything happening then.
‘The twenty-sixth’s just a Friday, Author. You haven’t forgotten anything.’
Well, that much was true.
The Author hadn’t forgotten a thing.
The Author growled, as he wandered about Pika’s mansion. “Where is everyone?! The least they could do, for all I’ve done, is throw a party.” If there were anyone around to see the Author, right now, they’d probably find the sight funny – the Author was wearing a party hat over his helmet, one of the conical cardboard ones, coloured bright green and red.
He’d found it earlier, abandoned in the Font Room along with a party popper. He was beginning to suspect someone around had lied.
When he found the invitation in Pika’s room, he was absolutely certain of it.
“Plan a party without me…”
Author kicked over a dustbin as he passed by.
“I swear, when Rodi gets back, there won’t be anything left of her lab except a smoking crater.”
“Hey, I think he’s coming…”
“Everyone, behind the sofa!”
“Uh… will we all fit?”
“Shaddup and get down here!”
Paused outside the door, Author was puzzled. He had heard more voices in there than there should have been, and did they really think a sofa would protect them? Better to be safe than sorry, the Author decided, taking the shield from off his back, and entering the room behind it.
“SURPRISE!”
Within, the varied cast of Megachu, and the Co-Authors Mark and Pete, shouted at the top of their lungs at Author… from behind a curiously out of place sofa.
“Happy birthday, Author!” Rodi waved at the Author from beside a table with a vast stock of sugary drinks.
Lowering his guard, Author went over to Rodi, and quietly asked what was actually going on.
“It’s your birthday party, Auth. Don’t tell me you really thought we’d all forgotten, now?”
Looking around at the collected party-goers, all smiling cheerfully at him, the Author meekly smiled back, then turned once more to Rodi. “B-but you went to that other universe… Pika and the others were messing around in here…”
“Well, I had to go fetch the guests, right? And the others were setting up in here.”
…Guests? Last time they had guests…
“Rodi, you do remember what happened the last time we had guests here, right?” Rodi nodded. “And I see that you’ve invited the same two people again.” Rodi nodded again, cheerfully. “…Why?”
“Don’t worry, Author. We’ve got enough sugar to go around, this time. And besides… it’s my lab that’d get destroyed.”
“Good point.”
Seeing the grin begin to spread on the Author’s face, Rodi quickly added something else. “If you goad anyone into a fight, I’m not going to fix the results.”
“Not even as a gift?”
“No.”
“Spoilsport.”
A few minutes later, after the Author had emptied a few cans of ‘Pika Pepsi’, he went off to greet one of the guests.
Mark, from Co-Authors.
Mark didn’t appear particularly hyper, and Megachu wasn’t anywhere nearby, so the Author guessed the lab would survive the party.
Darn.
“Happy birthday, Author!”
“Hey, Mark. Thanks for not destroying the place.”
“…I said sorry, didn’t I?”
Author handed Mark a ‘Pika Pepsi’. “Here, have one of these. Just don’t get into a fight over it, okay?”
Mark’s eyes gleamed. “Thanks!”
As he walked away, the Author grinned. Next…
Whilst the Author was off messing with Megachu, Rodi and Pete stood off to one side, wondering what ‘Auth’ was doing.
“He’s got to be doing something…”
“Maybe he’s just having fun.”
“…Yeah, probably.”
Next… were Kd and Mackay.
As Author approached, Kd readied a party popper to fire at Mackay. A full-scale war was currently being waged by the occupants of the sofa, Mackay currently looking like a ribboned parade float, and Kd like a multicolour cousin It.
“Hey hey, Author! Happy birthday, and a great party you’re having!” The Author experienced a brief rainbow-coloured shower of streamers, announced by a somewhat loud ‘pop’.
“Yeah, happy birthday, Author!”
“Thanks. Mind if I have a few of those party poppers?”
Mackay lowered the popper she had aimed directly at Kd. “Hold on a moment.” Reaching behind the sofa, she pulled up a large box of the things. “You can have a box of ‘em.”
Taking the box, the Author smiled. “Thank you, both of you.”
Next…
“Megachu, no!” The inventor struggled to keep a hold on one of his greatest creations.
“But I want a soft drink! Let go! Lemme get one, just one!”
“No! I don’t want a repeat of what I’m told happened the last time!”
“But there’s drinks enough to go around…!”
“N… Oh, hey Author.” The inventor turned, not letting his grip relax for an instant. Megachu continued struggling.
“Hey, Pika. Want a party popper?” Author held up the box.
“Can’t, I’m afr-“ At that point, Megachu kicked out at Pika, and left him on the floor whilst he raced towards the drinks table… but for one thing.
An Author’s leg.
Flat on the floor, Megachu started sobbing.
“What’s up with Megachu?”
Grinning, Pika helped himself to a handful of poppers. “He wants something sugary, and Mark’s over at the table. I don’t think it’s intelligent to let them near each other, since the last party.”
Author looked down at Megachu, who was still sobbing quietly. Kneeling down, he held his palm out, and summoned a can of ‘Pika Pepsi’ from the table.
Reaching for the next can of high-energy soft drink, Mark blinked as he found it disappearing before his eyes.
“…Maybe I’ve had too much soda…” Mark looked solemnly around the table, still piled high with sweet goodness. “What am I saying?! Of course I haven’t had enough!” He happily resumed his rapid intake of Pika Pepsi, pausing, only infrequently, to breathe.
“Urk!”
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”
“Megachu… let go of the Author… I’m certain he wants to breathe…”
It took the Author a short while to extricate himself from Megachu’s thankful hug.
“…You know, whilst Mark and Megachu aren’t anywhere near each other this time, it still isn’t a good idea to let Mark have so much caffeine.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that. I took precautions, this time.”
“Yeah… well, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go hide behind that sofa. No precaution guards against Mark and caffeine.”
Author spent the next ten minutes arranging the party poppers around the ‘Pika Pepsi table’, and tying the strings together. Mark didn’t notice anything whatsoever, in his own little seventh heaven.
There comes a time when every good party must end. One of the main causes of this is running out of food and drink.
A lesser-known cause, but one that happens nonetheless, and probably distressingly frequently to certain groups of people, is when a party-goer blows up the party building. This tends to end a party immediately.
Author tensed, from his position underneath the snack table. Untold ages of preparation had… okay, so he spent a few minutes tying strings together. Regardless how long it took, the preparation led to this point, okay?
Peeking out form underneath the tablecloth, the Author sensed the time was right… Mark had just finished off the entire contents of the drinks table, and was speeding around the table, looking for something that his hyper senses could fix on.
The Author pulled the string.
Around the table, and Mark, the party poppers Pika had arranged all went off at the same time, resulting in a noise rivalling that of the last explosion. Startled, and about as hyper as an author-character can get, Mark jumped several metres straight up.
He now had something to go hyper on…
Recognising the signs of impending doom for the building, Rodi edged over to the sofa, and joined Pete in hiding.
Within minutes, the entire building which housed the party, Rodi’s lab building, became a large pile of rubble, with a lot of coloured streamers decorating it. Mark, still hyper, jumped around the central heap.
From behind the sofa, Pete and Rodi peeked out.
“…Told you.”
“Yeah… but, you haven’t seen my precaution take effect, yet.”
“You mean it’ll still work? A little late, don’t you think?”
“…Well, yeah. But at least…” Rodi checked a fallen clock, that once lived on one of the no-longer-existent walls. “At least he won’t be able to reach us.”
Mark stopped jumping around, and appeared to notice the sofa, and the people behind it, for the first time.
“You just had to say that, didn’t you?”
Mark grinned the crazy smile-grimace that is the province of the hyper people, and started running towards them.
“Those precautions of yours had better start working soon…”
“Five seconds…”
Mark picked up speed, fairly running towards Pete and Rodi.
“R-Rodi! Whatever you think’s gonna happen, make it happen now!”
Rodi just kept looking at the clock, mouthing the seconds as they passed.
Just as Mark was upon them, he stopped, perfectly still. Then, slowly and as powerfully as a falling tree, he collapsed onto the sofa. Pete just stared.
“zzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz…”
“What just happened?”
“Sugar crash.”
“Wouldn’t the caffeine counteract that?”
“Pika Pepsi has a high level of sugar, but absolutely no caffeine. Huge sugar rush, but it only lasts a very short while.”
Pete stared at the somnolent Mark, then looked back at Rodi. “…Can I have the recipe?”
“Well, that was a good party.”
“Good party nothing. Rodi’s lab got destroyed…”
“Right! And you still have
to repair the place, as I didn’t goad anyone into destroying the place.”
“Author, why did you do that?”
“You left me managing the entire place for an entire day or so, with no hope of someone fixing it if something breaks. You, and the rest of the crew, convinced me that you’d all forgotten about my birthday.”
“Well… yes. It’s kinda necessary for a surprise party.”
“You still have to repair the place.”
“…No, actually. You’re going to have to survive without my help for a little more.”
“…Why?”
“Because… uh… it’s your fault?”
“R-right… I’ll get on it straight away, Author.”
“Stupid blaster.”
…
“I heard that.”